Sitting with Difference
What comes up for you when you think about coaching someone from a completely different part of the world? Or someone with strong political views you don't share? How about someone who reminds you of yourself?
Differences are present in all kinds of ways. They can be visible or invisible, obvious or subtle, spoken or unspoken. As coaches, it’s worth reflecting on our relationship with differences. Do you tend to avoid it? Over-index on it? Or catch yourself minimizing it? Awareness is the first step to building trust and range in the coaching partnership.
The Risk of a Single Lens in Coaching
I noticed something with a few Japanese clients I’ve coached in Japanese. When asked about their vision, they often responded with we, including their team or their partner. In contrast, the U.S.-based coach training I received tended to center vision around the individual. Without my experience in both individualistic and collectivist cultures, I could’ve easily pushed, “But what do YOU want?” as though their answer wasn’t valid enough.
Examples like this remind me how easily a dominant group’s approach can be treated as the norm. Our position as part of a dominant or non-dominant group can shift depending on context. If we as coaches don’t take the time to examine our lenses, biases, and assumptions, we risk compromising trust in the coaching partnership. Clients may start to hold back, filter, or quietly disengage. I’ve worked with clients who came to me after being dismissed, undermined, or having to explain themselves in previous experiences with helping professionals. Ideally, clients would share feedback, but it’s not their responsibility to carry that emotional labor.
Supporting Coaching Partnerships Across Differences
Here are a few practices that might be helpful to start with.
Cultivate self-awareness
Look within first. Notice what you bring into the coaching space and what might be missing. Your presence, perspective, lived experience, biases, and identity all shape the space.
Check your assumptions
Coach the person in front of you by actively listening. Be mindful not to coach from stereotype or projection. This applies whether your client seems completely different from you or shares a lot in common with you.
Stay accountable
There may be times your intention to help the client doesn’t land well. The effort to repair the coaching partnership by taking accountability for the impact can help restore trust. And if you notice judgment getting in the way of your ability to stay present, referring out can be a respectful option.
Embody humility and grace
There might be times when you don’t know what to say or feel uncomfortable. This work can be messy. Part of the work is staying curious, being present, and committing to learning and unlearning without needing to be the culture expert.
Conclusion
Trust opens the space for clients to bring the fullness of who they are. Coaching with a multicultural lens can support that by expanding what we notice and how we listen.
References
- Meyer, E. (2014). The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business. PublicAffairs.
- VISIONS Inc. (n.d.). PACE Level I Workshop. https://visions-inc.org/programs/
- Livermore, D. (2025). Leading global teams effectively. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2025/05/leading-global-teams-effectively
- Fuller, P., Murphy, M., & Chow, A. (2020). The Leader's Guide to Unconscious Bias: How to Reframe Bias, Cultivate Connection, and Create High-Performing Teams. Simon & Schuster.
- Tervalon, M., & Murray-García, J. (1998). Cultural humility versus cultural competence: A critical distinction in defining physician training outcomes in multicultural education. Journal of Health Care for the Poor and Underserved, 9(2), 117–125.
- Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. PuddleDancer Press.
About Rei Perovic
Rei Perovic is the Founder of Cofactors Strategies, an Executive and Leadership Coach, ICF Mentor, and Coach Educator. She partners with purpose-driven leaders and organizations to navigate complex cultural landscapes and create meaningful, lasting change. A Master Certified Coach (MCC) through the International Coaching Federation—a distinction held by fewer than 5% of coaches globally—Rei brings experience coaching across cultures and industries, with more than 1,500 clients worldwide. Her work centers on guiding leaders to deepen self-awareness and lead with intention, empathy, and alignment, especially in environments shaped by dominant cultural assumptions.
Prior to coaching, Rei rose from an internship in Tokyo to a creative executive role in global advertising agencies in New York City, where she was one of the few immigrant women of color. Over her 17-year career in advertising, she developed expertise in communication, influence, and brand building. Her work included art directing large-scale productions and collaborating with renowned photographers and directors on campaigns for Fortune 100 brands. One of her campaigns was featured in
The New York Times for its original storytelling and celebration of self-expression.
Rei earned her Certified Professional Coach (CPC) credential through Coaching for Transformation in New York City, a program offered by Leadership That Works and known for its focus on social justice and embodied coaching. Committed to expanding cultural awareness beyond dominant Western norms, she actively mentors coaches worldwide and teaches coaching skills that honor multicultural perspectives. Fluent in English and Japanese, she also translated
Sushi Chef: Sukiyabashi Jiro, based on
Jiro Dreams of Sushi. A lifelong learner who’s taken more training than she can count, she still credits animals as her master teachers. Originally from Tokyo, she has lived in New York City for more than half her life.
Website:
reiperovic.com
LinkedIn:
linkedin.com/in/rei-perovic/